Five Leaves — 85 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

This will be our shortest review ever: We walked in, sat down, started the meter, looked around, stopped the meter, and left. Why? The music in this attractive space was punishing. The food must be good–the place was crowded–but we’ll never know, as the music volume made the space intolerable. After just two minutes, we felt our jaw muscles tightening. To be frank, we didn’t feel like putting in ear plugs to make our way through lunch.  We just wanted to enjoy our meal, and it shouldn’t be that hard.

If it’s this crazy loud at lunch, dinner at Five Leaves won’t be better. They are open for breakfast, though, so if you get there at 8:00 a.m. before they remember to turn the music on, you might have a shot at a meal without a side of tinnitus.  Otherwise, avoid.

HOURS

8:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. every day

LOCATION

nue (where it meets Lorimer Street and Nassau Avenue), Brooklyn, NY 11222

WEBSITE

Five Leaves

Double Wide — 70.9 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

We went to Double Wide for brunch one Saturday because one of us was craving biscuits with gravy, something that isn’t readily available in New York City.  But Double Wide had it and it was delicious.  And, as you can see from the meter reading, the soundscape was perfect!

Not so fast.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

The absolutely wonderful 70.9 dBC reading was taken in Double Wide’s small back patio, which was blissfully calm during our visit.  But to get to the back patio you have to walk through the  oh-so-loud bar first. That is, small back patio aside, the rest of the space is too damn loud.

So during the warmer weather months, you can enjoy your biscuits and gravy and conversation with your companions if you can score a seat outside.  And that is fine, because Double Wide is not a place you should eat at every day.  Why? Three words: loaded tater tots.  And yes, they were appallingly delicious.

HOURS

Monday through Wednesday: 3:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m.

Thursday and Friday: 3:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m.

Saturday: 11:30 p.m. to 3:00 a.m.

Sunday: 11:30 p.m. to 12:00 a.m.

LOCATION

Street (betw. Avenues A and B), New York, NY 10009

WEBSITE

Double Wide Bar

Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop — 72.6 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

We only visited Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop in Greenpoint, Brooklyn to get a few donuts to go.  Once we walked in, we wished we had time to stay and have a coffee and donut. Peter Pan is an old-school bakery with a service counter, and at least half of the seats were taken while we were there.  And with good reason. Peter Pan has long been ranked as one of the best–if not the best–donut shop in the city.  It’s been around for over 60 years, and nothing about the place has changed.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

If you want to experience a real New York City neighborhood institution, you couldn’t find a better example. There was a constant flow of customers coming in to get donuts to go, but the bustling line wasn’t annoying.  Music played very softly in the background, and the older crowd who opted to eat in talked relatively quietly to each other.  We thought that everything about the place was perfect.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

And the donuts? Yes, they are some of the best in the city.

HOURS

Monday through Friday: 4:30 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.

Saturday: 5:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.

Sunday: 5:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

LOCATION

nue (betw. Meserole and Norman Avenues), Brooklyn, NY 11222

WEBSITE

Peter Pan Donuts

Jack’s Stir Brew (W. 10th Street) — 74.3 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

We stopped by the W. 10th Street location of Jack’s Stir Brew, the first location of this popular local chain, for a post-lunch coffee and were happy to find it a pretty relaxed place. How relaxed? We were surprised at the meter reading, because it was a few decibels higher than anticipated.  We assume the meter picked up the conversation at the next table, but must note that the couple wasn’t loud–no one was.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

Music played quietly in the background and traffic noise did not intrude, even as the owner or manager propped open the door to make a repair.  We’ve walked past this location of Jack’s many times and it’s usually crowded, so we were happy we found a table.  Even when crowded, though, it’s unlikely to be uncomfortable as there are only four tables and several stools.  Add in very good coffee and a nice selection of sweet treats, and we recommend a visit.

HOURS

Monday through Friday: 6:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Saturday and Sunday: 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

LOCATION

Street (betw. Waverly Place and Greenwich Avenue), New York, NY 10014

WEBSITE

Jack’s Stir Brew

Townhouse Diner — 69.2 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

There’s a reason we love to review diners on this site, and Townhouse Diner is a good example why–69.2 decibels. Ah. Townhouse Diner is a simple, straightforward, old-school diner that gets the job done. It’s located near the entrance of the midtown tunnel, but we couldn’t hear traffic noise. Duran Duran played in the background when we arrived.  It’s wasn’t too loud, but the music was trebly and absolutely unnecessary. It was an older crowd, with the exception of one new mother and infant. Trust us, no one was listening to the music or watching Fox News on the very large flat screen. Fortunately, Fox News only offended us visually–the volume was low and we couldn’t hear it.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

In the end, Townhouse Diner wasn’t perfect, but it was more than manageable. If they turned off the tv or the music (or, one hopes, both) the space would have been really comfortable.  As it was, the noise level was more than manageable.  We recommend it for a quick nosh.

HOURS

Sunday through Thursday: 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.

Friday and Saturday: 6:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

LOCATION

nue (betw. 37th and 38th Streets), New York, NY 10016

WEBSITE

Townhouse Diner

Meme Mediterranean West Village — 81 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

We’ll start out by saying how disappointed we were with our visit to Meme Mediterranean in the West Village.  Why? The space is attractive, the food was good, but the space was intolerable.  The usual culprit was at play–the music was entirely too loud.  In fact, the music alone clearly pushed the meter reading into the “avoid category.”  That said, music aside, the room is just poorly designed–it’s too damn live.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

How bad could it be?  When we arrived, we were the only table in the restaurant, as all of the other diners opted for sidewalk tables, and yet the space was uncomfortably loud.  It only got worse as people straggled in.

Now Hudson at Bank Street isn’t as heavily trafficked as other streets, but it’s still busy and can get noisy.  Plus we would rather not breath in car exhaust as we eat. But the sidewalk tables appeared to be more tolerable, as least as far as sound levels are concerned.  So if you want to take a chance, go ahead.  But if you will only eat in the restaurant, take a pass.  It simply isn’t worth it.

HOURS

Monday through Friday: 11:30 a.m. to 11:00 p.m.

Saturday and Sunday: 10:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m.

LOCATION

Street (at Bank Street), New York, NY 10014

WEBSITE

Meme Mediterranean West Village

The Gumbo Bros — 72.6 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

We read a really good review of The Gumbo Bros and decided to check it out.  A couple of visits to New Orleans taught us that the po’ boy is the king of sandwiches, but trying to find a decent one in New York City isn’t easy.  Well, it just got easier, because The Gumbo Bros do a great job in bringing the taste of New Orleans to Brooklyn. We’ve tried the shrimp po’ boy and the roast beef, and both wen’t down easily.  Stick to the po’ boys and you’ll be fine.  The gumbo was ok–we aren’t big fans of the stuff, anyhow–and the side of greens was a bit too salty and spicy hot for our tastes, but those po’ boys were pretty fabulous.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

So why the love note to the food and nary a mention of the soundscape?  Because the food was outstanding but the soundscape was not.  There is one predominant source of noise at The Gumbo Bros and that is the loud music that is broadcast throughout the space.  During our visit most of the tables were taken and some people were chatty, but the chatter wasn’t that loud.  No doors or windows were open to noisy Atlantic Avenue, so traffic noise was not an issue (was it drowned out by the music?). Nope, the reason the place was merely tolerable was the music. Now you may note that the reading was only 72.6 decibels, and you would be right.  But the meter was running close to 78 decibels at first, and only went down as the place emptied out.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

In our review last week of Nom Wah Nolita we wrote that sometimes we’re willing to put up with less than comfortable spaces if the food is exceptional.  Well, these po’ boys sang to us, and even though the music was louder than we liked and the space felt live, the po’ boys make it worth stopping in for a noisy nosh. Hey, you’re not going to linger here anyhow. But the memories of that po’ boy you enjoyed? It will visit you in your dreams.

HOURS

11:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. every day

LOCATION

nue (betw. Court Street and Boerum Place), Brooklyn, NY 11201

WEBSITE

The Gumbo Bros

Sarabeth’s at Lord & Taylor — 62.5 decibels

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

Here’s something we don’t often write: it was almost too quiet at Sarabeth’s at Lord & Taylor. Ok, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, especially since we could have done without the background music, but this location of Sarabeth’s was not live at all and could best be described as sedate.

Upholstered banquettes lining the walls, a drop ceiling, and some structure kept the room calm.  Except for the unnecessary and inappropriate background music, this was one of the most serene meals we have had in a long time.  And the music–current pop hits that were most definitely not being enjoyed by the older crowd–was a mere annoyance in the otherwise comfortable space.

Photo credit: Quiet City Maps

We understand that some of the larger department stores in Manhattan have cafes, and some of them have been well received. The food at Sarabeth’s was fine for what it was, but no one is going to go out of their way to eat there unless they are shopping beforehand or afterwards. This restaurant exists for convenience.  And it’s worth a visit if you have some shopping to do, as it’s nice to have a civilized lunch in chaotic midtown. Sarabeth’s at Lord & Taylor is definitely a place were you can have a meal and a conversation. We recommend it.

HOURS

11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

LOCATION

424 Fifth Avenue (at 39th Street), New York, NY 10018

WEBSITE

Sarabeth’s